My Day Job

I was drafted to write an admissions-based post for the college I work for's new online blog. Since there is no way in you-know-where they would actually let me post this on our website, I'm posting it here. Here's a glimpse into my other life: the confessions of an admissions counselor.

Registration: You’re Doing It Wrong

We just wrapped up registration for the Fall 2013 semester. Every semester we reserve the first week of classes for late registration and drop and add. And every year I have to exercise an extreme amount of control to keep my filter switched to “on.” You guys are going to face-palm me into a stupor.

First of all, stop procrastinating. Avoid late registration and drop/add if at all possible. Why? Because it makes it easier on you and me. Most of you probably know that there is a late registration fee of $25, but did you know that when you make changes to your schedule and drop a class during the late registration period that you will not receive a full refund? We keep 5% of any money already paid for a class drop. And if you drop your entire schedule, guess what? You only receive a 70% refund.

Speaking of payment. Pay your bills on time. Just do it. Why? Because if you don’t, you will be dropped from your classes for non-payment, then you’ll be scrambling to get back into your classes during late registration, and you’ll owe us an extra $25. And if you’re receiving any kind of financial assistance, do not assume your classes are taken care of (because we all know what happens when you assume). Get your ducks in a row on time. Know where your money is and when it’s available to you.

Another thing about payment, if you registered for classes and decided, “Oh, well, I don’t think I’m going to go this semester. I’ll just wait to be dropped for non-payment,” think again. Every semester there are a few lucky people who, for some reason, do not get dropped from their classes for non-payment. If you were anticipating a drop, and it never happened, then you have to perform a complete-schedule-withdrawal during late registration, and you now owe us 30% of your tuition and fees.

And here’s a big one: remember whether or not you actually registered. Yes, this does seem like common sense, but you would not believe how many calls I receive from students saying they never registered for classes and asking why we are asking for payment. Let me tell you a secret. With a few clickity-clacks of my keyboard, I can access your account and see every single change made to your schedule. Ever. I can see who registered you for classes, when you were registered, and how. You can’t lie and say “Well, so-and-so-professor must have put me in that class” because I can see the truth. If you registered and forgot you did, just own up to it. I’ll find out anyway.

Another common sense reminder: don’t give your login information to anyone. No one. Don’t have Mama or Daddy register you for classes. (And side note: don’t ever have Mama and Daddy do anything for you. You’re at least a junior in college now. It’s time to wear your big girl panties and do it yourself). If your spouse calls and needs access to your online account, guess what? We can’t give them that information because they aren’t the student; you are. Also, don’t give your login information to a friend or a roommate or put it where they can get to it. Why? Because once upon a registration, someone’s roommate got mad at them, logged into their online account, messed with their schedule, and dropped them from classes. Seriously. It has happened.

Take registration and your education seriously, be prepared, and be on time. It’s not difficult. It takes minimal time and effort. If you have any questions about registration, you can always contact the admissions office. Oh, and if you have a financial aid question, contact financial aid—not admissions. Same for the bookstore, payment, etc. Though we are flattered you think we do everything in admissions, we don’t.

Sincerely,
The Admissions Fairy

Three

Teeny, tiny poppy seed.

Oh so small, you’ll grow so big.

A little miracle from the start.

You’re burrowing in Mommy’s heart.

Wiggle worm, look at you go!

Tiny fingers and little toes.

Created.  He will knit and mold.

In His hands. He will hold.

Watermelon, so sweet.

Kicking ribs with baby feet.

Impatiently, we wait for you.

Our gift from God. Our dream come true.

-JP

The Ghost of Literary Past

Sorry I haven't written in, whoa, a really long time, but I've been busy growing a human.  Yeah.  Put your adoption process on hold, and you'll get pregnant! :)

Last night, I was thinking about all the books I used to read when I was younger and how my particular writing style developed. 

The first think I remember really captivating me was mythology.  Yeah, if you think that's weird, just wait.  I had found some mythology book for kids at my elementary school's library and could not get enough.  I read stories about Eros and Psyche, Narcisuss and Echo, Athena, and many others.  I think I got this love of mythology from my mom.  She took Latin in high school and knew all about the origins of words.  When she would explain a word's meaning, like narcissism, she'd tell me the story of Narcisuss.  I enjoyed learning that there are so many stories behind words.  I think reading mythology helped develop my imagination.  They were more interesting to me than Grimm's Fairy Tales. 

But I do love Grimm's Fairy Tales--and on an unrelated note, I love the show Grimm.  If you haven't seen it, you should watch it.  One Thanksgiving, my Uncle Wyatt gave my sister and I a giant book.  It was a collection of Grimm's Fairy Tales.  At first, I was thinking "Um, thanks for the big ass book," but on the car ride home, I actually started reading it, and it was awesome.  I found "Cinderella" (a.k.a. "Aschenputtel"), a story that I thought I was familiar with, and began reading.  Dude, Disney did not do this story justice.  Those Germans were brutes.  For instance, did you know that the evil step-sisters' mother made them cut off their toes and heels so that their giant man feet would fit into the glass slipper?  Morbid, right?  I loved it.

One day, I got my hands on an Edgar Allan Poe collection.  I really enjoyed dark literature.  In elementary school.  Yeah, I told you I was weird.  I thought the "Tell Tale Heart" was wickedly creepy.  I stole my sister's copy of Jane Eyre and began reading it.  I loved the Gothic undertones and the subtle ghostly presence that existed in the Bronte sisters' books.  Of course when I read the book again in my British Literature class, the feminist in me was appalled by how Rochester kept his crazy ex-wife locked in the attic.

I also enjoyed stealing my sister's R.L. Stine books and reading the murderous ghost tales.  Goosebumps was just not scary enough for me.  In fifth grade, I bought a book called Time Windows by Kathryn Reiss at a library sale.  It was a non-traditional ghost story about a doll house and dealt a little with time travel.  I had always been interested in time travel, but I had never seen it in literature until I read this book.  I also read some tales by Lois Duncan and other young adult mystery writers.

I was not introduced to the fabulous works of J.K. Rowling until I was nearly out of high school.  It was the best literature I had read up to that point.  Arguably, the best literature I had read ever.  I'm a bit of a fan, if you haven't noticed.

What is interesting to me is that the dark, Gothic literature I used to love now creeps the buhgeezes out of me.  I had to read Dracula for the first time in my Brit Lit class.  We had about a week to read it, and I don't think I slept all week.  I couldn't even finish it.  I was a married, 20-something college student, and this book gave me nightmares. 

I think there is something about having the innocence of a child when reading Poe and other scary tales.  When we are young, we are taught that these stories are completely make believe.  Evil doesn't exist anywhere but in literature, and the world is full of good.  Now that I'm an adult, I know that people really do chop up other people and hide them in their walls and floor boards.  There are people who actually believe they are real vampires, and they kill people and drink their blood.  Psychos and crazies don't exist only in literature.  They are real.  If you noticed, the "vampire" novel I've been entertaining does not and will not glorify vampires.  After reading Dracula, vampires will always be evil to me.  I knew I was "team Jacob" for some reason....

Well, now you know a little more about me and from where a lot of my inspiration stems.  Feel free to share your past literary encounters with me!  I don't hate comments. :)

-JGP

The Only Thing I Can Think About....

I can't write.  The only thing I can think about is if my child will ever come....

http://waitingforbabypettus.blogspot.com/

Months

1, 2, 3, 4…

Months pass by.  Nearly a score.

Wondering if we will wait 20 more.

5, 6, 7, 8…

It seems impossible, death from wait,

Dying slowly from something I hate.

9, 10, 11, 12…

Waiting for Heaven while sitting in Hell,

Hoping for hope and faith as well.

13, 14, 15, 16…

Searching everywhere and in between

This journey was not as it seemed.

17, 18, 19, 20…

God save me from this road so lengthy.

Don’t leave me dying with my arms empty….

-JGP

Introducing Russ

Hey Y’all,

I haven’t known Jana terribly long – graced by meeting her at a career fair at Athens State University where I was representing The University of North Alabama.  Either way, I’m thrilled to pieces she asked me to be a guest writer for her blog.  But maybe I’ve picked up in the middle of a conversation we haven’t even started.  Allow me to introduce myself.  

I am Russ Darracott – an Old Fashioned Southern Gentleman trapped in a 25 year old body in the wrong generation altogether.  I’m a hopeless romantic who moves at two speeds (slow and stop) and a firm believer in Southern hospitality.  If someone is uncomfortable around me – I’ve failed at my job as a Southerner.  If I neglect to open a door for another person, smile at a passerby, or wear white after Labor Day, I’ve failed at my job as a Southerner.  If guests leave a party I’m hosting after only two hours (and God forbid hungry), I’ve failed miserably at my job as a Southerner.

I come from a family of healthy eaters (I’ll let you draw your own conclusions) who know how to throw a party.  Our party typically begins at noon and doesn’t end until midnight.  No one leaves hungry (one typically leaves with a notch taken out of his or her belt) or without telling at least one good story.  Cards begin around sevenish and conclude at midnight…or until your pockets, your wife’s purse, and your car is empty of all spare change (we aren’t hardcore gamblers….we have a quarter limit on all bets.)  I’ve lived in the same small town in the same house and attended the same Baptist church my whole life.  It is a town where the sweet tea and gossip flow freely…most of the residents know the dish about you before you do.  If you have nothing to hide, it is a wonderful place – if you have something to hide, we welcome you…and your scandalous stories.

And writing is my passion, well hobby more or less.  My truest passion is taking old things and making them new again. I’m restoring my grandmother’s old home and furnishing it with nothing but antiques.  Maybe it is because I believe everything deserves a second chance.  Maybe it is because I’m cheap. Or maybe it is because I long to live in a past I never got to see…only read about and hear about through stories passed from generation to generation. My next greatest passion is as an outdoorsman.  Whether it be fishing, hiking, or just mowing my grass I’m much more at home out of doors rather than being cooped up inside.  I don’t know how many passions one person is allowed to have, but writing would follow after that (no, I take that back…it would follow after cars…I’m a car collector so that is definitely a passion.)  So I say writing is a passion, but it may fall more in the hobby category.

I don’t believe writing is this “spectacular gift of divine intervention” awarded to only a select few people.  I believe it is hard work. And I believe it is the undying belief that you as a person have a story that is worth sharing and worth being told.  Writing isn’t a concept that is only mastered by those who are master linguists.  Writing is mastered by those who are great story tellers.  A great story teller is a person that can take cold, black and white words and transport a reader to a land full of color and bold characters whether they be people who could pass as neighbors, ancestors of a past long gone by, or someone who would be a perfect best friend from a land which only a child could dream.

I write the former…stories of the South and of characters who I wish were true to life friends instead of living only in my imagination.  But they aren’t always fictitious…the best stories come from what you know.  I know Southerners.  I know hospitality, gossip, and scandal.  No offense to our Northern counterparts (or anyone who may read this above the Mason-Dixon Line), but the only place a Yankee (Good Lord, but does that word leave a bitter taste in my mouth) will ever have in any story of mine is as a villain who plays against the good nature of a Southerner.

So writing isn’t a miraculous gift – it is a passion to write what you know and stories worth being told.  I truly believe each person may not write – but every person can tell a story (or at least Southerners can).  So write what you know.  Don’t keep those stories to yourself.  There is an old saying that every time a person dies, a library burns down…and I believe that with all my heart.  Every person and every thing has a story worth being told – so tell it. (Just remember to change the names to protect the innocent.)

I’ve enjoyed our time together.  I hope I’ll be invited back.

Warm Southern Days,

Russ

You can read Russ' blog "This Old Southern House" at http://thisoldsouthernhouse.blogspot.com/.

Hopefully, I can convince Russ to come back and give us a teaser of his new novel Moonlight Serenade.  I am in the process of reading it and can't wait to finish!  Thanks, Russ, for gracing us with your presence at "The Writers' Block."

-JGP

Holy Expletive, Batman!

So, (don't you love how I start every post with "so?"  It's kind of my thing.)

SO, I was checking my email a few minutes ago, weeding through the oh so many rejection emails I receive a day, when I opened once that said this:


Dear Jana,

Many thanks for getting in touch with The Blair Partnership.

We look forward to reading your work.  Please submit your manuscript when you feel it is one hundred per cent complete as this way we will be able to make our best assessment of it.

Best wishes,

The Blair Partnership

I got excited.  It's always exciting when someone requests your stuff.  But then I sat there trying to figure out which agency this is because I've contacted like 70.

Blair Partnership...Blair Partnership... I sat and thought for a few minutes.  Then I looked at the address: London.

You ready for this?  It's J.K. Freakin' Rowling's AGENCY!!!

Are they serious?!?!  They want my stuff?  Like REALLY?!  I am still shaking from excitment and nervousness.  I got to get this mug finished like ASAP!

I realize there is a one in a million chance that they will actually want to sign my book, but STILL.  This has given me a major confidence boost.  And a swift kick in the butt to get moving!

So, as of right now, I will be writing non-stop for the next who knows how long, and I would REALLY appreciate your prayers :)

SO EXCITED!!!

-JGP

Excitement

*            TWILIGHT AND JANE EYRE SPOILER ALERT            *

(Just in case you haven't read them and evenutally want to.  I hate being spoiled, so I thought I'd give a heads up.)

So, I started jotting down my little idea yesterday, and today I've been elborating on it because my computer software at work has decided to have a 'tude with me today--seriously, like every other day, it does not work.

I am so excited about this new book.  It has just been a fun idea of mine that I've had for years.  I'm not huge into the vampire thing.  I loved the Twilight books (except the last one--don't work up to some huge fight scene and then not have it, k?  And don't even get me started on the movies and Kristin Stewart now being the most paid actress in Hollywood....)  I've never really wanted to jump on the vampire crazy train, so that's why I never put words to my little idea until yesterday.

To me, it's just a fun project to work on while I figure out where Maggie's book is going.  I don't think I will ever pursue publishing it or anything, but I am having so much fun researching for it.  It's set in New Orleans, which I find to be one of the most mysterious, creepiest, coolest cities in America, and many of the characters are of Cajun descent or Lousiana Creole.

In college I had a "History of the English Language" class, and we discussed Pidgin, which I believe is where the Creole language originated--from the West Africa and Carribean slave trade (don't quote me on that; it's been years since I've had that class, but I think that's where it came from.)  And I also read The Wide Sargasso Sea in my Lit Crit class which is a kind of prequel to Jane Eyre (very interesting book anyone who is a Jane Eyre fan should read.)  It takes place in the Carribean and tells the story of Mr. Rochester's crazy, Creole, attic wife.  I love knowing both sides of the story, so I'm glad someone decided to elaborate on hers.  But don't even get me started on that love triangle and how I never liked Rochester and think Jane could've done better....

I really don't want this to be a vampire novel that glorify's vampires.  I've thought about having some kind of vampire love interest, because it seems like that would be the natural course for the book, but I don't like vampires.  I was Team Jacob.  I didn't trust the vampires.  While reading the Twilight books, I kept waiting for Edward to turn on Bella and attack her.  I think this goes back to an episode of "Are You Afraid of The Dark" I watched when I was like 7 and parts of "Interview With a Vampire" I saw when I was 10 which seriously scarred me for life.  I slept with my sheets pulled up around my neck for years.   Bottom line, vampires are not good or nice or make great husbands.  They are bad, and I don't like them.

So, to recap, having fun researching for the new book, Kristen Stewart has the personality of notebook paper, you should read Wide Sargasso Sea, and I don't like vampires.

-JGP